I don’t believe that the recent riots are the result of an marginalised underclass, or a societal breakdown, I think unreasonable electricity bills are the cause. The bills arrived two weeks ago so, for me, this isn’t a coincidence.
Beetroot – the devil’s vegetable
When beetroot nitrate turns in to nitric oxide in the body, it reduces the amount of oxygen compulsory to perform exercise and thus a 40-minute legs, bums and tums workout for Gandalf doesn’t look quite so unrealistic.
Closer, Reveal, Star
A Closer ‘scoop’ is usually a picture of Jude Law with a piss stain on the front of his trackie bottoms.
Sean Hoare
Sean Hoare was a charming, memorable rogue and a lovable one. If nothing else, he started the ball rolling for me and I subsequently enjoyed a career in newspaper journalism. For that I am extremely grateful
The er… oh goodness
I started Googling and came across (yes, very funny) a couple of studies that undermine the claim that well, men from ethnic backgrounds have larger, y’know, equipment, than white blokes.
News of the World?
So, like drugs in sport, MPs on the make, and bent coppers, there’ll always be rogue journalists and tabloid newspapers involved in some sort of skulduggery. You can change the regulation, you can have a Press Complaints Commission that actually has some balls, but it’ll always be the same because never trust what you read in the papers : it’s all lies, lies lies…
Embarrassing ‘fat’ bodies
To pee, the unfortunate patient merely had to stand and relax his groin and let the urine out. An undertray to catch the contents was all that was needed. It was like a Little Britain sketch, the only catch being is that this was real.
The ‘insert’ button. Useful?
But in spite of all this computer-based woe that regularly blights my life there is still nothing worse in the technology world, in my experience, than the so-called ‘insert’ button.
Restrooms, bathrooms…
Poor people and Northerners (which are pretty much the same) refer to the eating schedule as Breakfast, Dinner and Tea, which is patently ridiculous because dinner is a full-scale affair that happens in the evening. Tea, however, is something you drink with milk and sugar. It’s merely a beverage, Geordie boy.