A cat is a 16-year mistake that’ll hurt you from day one.
iPhones – mobile phones?
The iPhone is merely a plaything for socially inept: it’s a monumentally irritating gadget that people insist on placing on the table in the pub.
Rubbish sayings (part 1)
You can’t have your cake and eat it
The cake market in the UK is worth about £3 billion. If people didn’t eat the cake they bought, there’s a huge stockpile somewhere.
With respect
This morning on Radio 4 anchorman John Humphrys used the expression ‘with respect’ before tearing into Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne who was attempting, and failing, to extol the virtues of the now-popular-formerly-dull Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg. What followed was a huffety puffety diatribe from Huhne, who was feeling less than respected. Huhne was having a girlie strop. Lies Lies Lies is impartial. We have no political bent because it is taken as read, by us, that all politicians lie. In this seemingly unending election run in the UK we’ve heard scores of lies in numerous interviews. To claim a politician is a liar is to state the…
‘Nothing to fear to but fear itself’
here’s plenty to fear. Earthquakes, tsunamis, holocausts, military dictatorships, nuclear weaponry, terrorists, box jellyfish, serial killers, risotto recipes, killer dogs, deadly snakes, people at dinner parties who like Woody Allen.
Girls – ‘I’m not hungry’
Girls who say they are not hungry and then, having ordered a salad, start taking food off your plate. Bad.
Non-stick pans
The new non-stick pan is the kitchen equivalent of Eddie the Eagle. Bacon shows little resistance and sausages roll and skip across the surface like skippety lambs on a spring day. Beans exit in a similar fashion to that of cinema audience leaving a screening of Police Academy 6