So, like drugs in sport, MPs on the make, and bent coppers, there’ll always be rogue journalists and tabloid newspapers involved in some sort of skulduggery. You can change the regulation, you can have a Press Complaints Commission that actually has some balls, but it’ll always be the same because never trust what you read in the papers : it’s all lies, lies lies…
Embarrassing ‘fat’ bodies
To pee, the unfortunate patient merely had to stand and relax his groin and let the urine out. An undertray to catch the contents was all that was needed. It was like a Little Britain sketch, the only catch being is that this was real.
The ‘insert’ button. Useful?
But in spite of all this computer-based woe that regularly blights my life there is still nothing worse in the technology world, in my experience, than the so-called ‘insert’ button.
Restrooms, bathrooms…
Poor people and Northerners (which are pretty much the same) refer to the eating schedule as Breakfast, Dinner and Tea, which is patently ridiculous because dinner is a full-scale affair that happens in the evening. Tea, however, is something you drink with milk and sugar. It’s merely a beverage, Geordie boy.
Hair mousse ads
Here’s what really happens. You’ll put in the mousse. After five minutes of ‘sculpting’ it’ll go all floppy on you again and you’ll look like every other person on the street with terrible hair.
General stupidness
If you have seen a donkey wearing an ill-fitting, shapeless coat with plastic on the shoulders, I’ll give you a million pounds.
UK ‘democracy’
If I were a Libyan national I would not have the freedom to say Gaddafi wets the bed and looks like an out-of-work Boney M lookalike
Work experience
The voluptuous Vanessa Togher didn’t understand that principle and pointed out that she gleaned most satisfaction when she was alone in her room, stroking her cat. She used a different word at the end of that sentence and was perhaps intimating that she would like to pursue a similar career to that of Paul Jessup’s.
More crap sayings
When you hear the words ‘no offence’ expect a litany of offensive statements designed to expose all your frailties.